we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
