I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
