what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
