He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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