How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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