Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
