your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
