his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
