Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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