yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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