He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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