And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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