We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
