so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
