As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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