Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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