Is it because I queefed?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She's the barista slut.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
