me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Couch. On fire.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
