Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Never underestimate the power of titties
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
