I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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