I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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