i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
