Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
