Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize