I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
