Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
