So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
