biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
