I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
