so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just found puke in my bra..
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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