I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
