at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
