just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
