Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
