why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
