i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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