no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
