I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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