What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
my being single is dangerous.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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