How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
