How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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