Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Randomize
