That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
