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Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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