an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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