nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
