About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
