so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
