so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
