Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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