how can u be prego again
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
