She's like a pop up book from hell.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
