Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
