people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
