is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Ketchup is God's man juice
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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