Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
