I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
