The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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