i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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