My cat gives me a boner
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
