she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
