My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
