Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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