JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
