btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
