That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
